Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
