i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
