I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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