I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
