she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
