Whod you bang
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
