so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
