everyone is single if you try hard enough
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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