please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
