If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it's like iHOP with fire
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
