we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
