at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
