i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
