took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
