my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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