he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
