Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
