so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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