we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
