Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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