dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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