so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
