It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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