You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
birth control should be required to get into college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
