Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
