Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
