Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
