Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
