you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
