sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
