new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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