you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
