I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We have so much sex to catch up on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
