Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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