Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
