I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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