party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
