Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
