Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
