is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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