Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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