This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
