I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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