ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We talked him into tasing himself.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
