That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
