In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
