This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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