Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
