The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
