? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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