I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
