I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
