You surviving the open bar?
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Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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