there was a trapeze. enough said
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I AM VODKA MAN
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize