I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
