How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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