TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i dont even know how to be here
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
